My dearest, closest childhood friend lost her battle with cancer last week, but because my husband and I were camping in the mountains, out of cell phone range, I missed the call from her husband and didn’t find out until Monday.
You can know something is going to happen, like my friend’s death, and for months if not years prior. But no amount of knowing has any bearing on the sorrow and loss that is felt when someone you love passes and becomes forever out of a familiar and habitual reach. I will though, carry the pieces of our lives that we shared along with me wherever I go and someday we’ll meet again on the other side.
My dear friend Regina, I know you are in a better place and most of all, I am relieved that you won’t suffer anymore. Outside of my husband and my family, there is no one who knows me the way you do and I will miss the effortless way we talked and laughed, no matter the years and miles between us. Stay gold my friend.
So sorry for your loss! Be assured that your friend knows!
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Thank you so much! Yes, I agree that she does.
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Oh Deb, so sorry to hear this!
I will miss the effortless way we talked and laughed
All things genuine are effortless and I can only imagine how genuine and lovely your friendship might have been and how beautiful that bond was!
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Thank you Rex. Yes, bonded from early childhood, and friends throughout, I am grateful.
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I totally understand how mentally knowing something will not in any way prepare you for the actual loss when it arrives. I feel for you and express my sorrow for this great void. I wish you love and light at this time, Linda
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Oh, thank you very much Linda! I am very grateful for your note and all of those here who have been so kind.
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My condolences! It’s difficult to loose a loved one and if you need any support free feel to reach out to us here on your blog!
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Thank you so much! Yes, the blog community has been a wonderful new experience for me and I cherish each one of you for not only the support, but for the incredible gifts that you all share here in the blogosphere.
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I have been in hospice visiting loved ones and knowing they were gonna pass, and still when it actually happened I felt shocked and surprised by it. I have been thru many deaths of others and the number gets higher the older I get. It can seem like a cruel cosmic joke at times. I fear the death of others more then my own death, just because I’ll miss them and it leaves a painful void in my heart. Namaste and deepest sympathy.
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Thank you David. I think you nailed it. The pain is hard. Likewise, deepest sympathies to you too. My grandpa used to say, “Don’t get old Deb.” I’m just beginning to understand a little of what he might have meant.
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Very sorry for your loss. May your friend always be at your side. Energy can never be destroyed. She’s always here.
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Thank you for the note. You’re so right. There’s so much more to what cannot be seen and there’s plenty to be seen!
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Empty-handed I entered the world
Barefoot I leave it.
My coming, my going-
Two simple happenings
That got entangled.
– Kozan Ichikyo
Being entangled with another who also understands the barefoot walking of the path is one of the greatest gifts I think we can ever find here. So blessed to have been and to still be so known and loved are you.
Might I humbly say that I think this beloved friend found you on that mountaintop and enjoyed sharing the view all the more for the eyes you witness with… eyes that now have the heavier experience of the tangible missing of her form.
My thoughts are with you as a precious keeper of memories over time is now giving us all her hugs on the breeze.
-x.M
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Thank you M. You’re so right about her finding me. I think during the trip I knew something had happened. I spoke with Regina about a week before she died. She didn’t want to say goodbye and always wanted things to be normal for everyone else, but I know her too well not to hear the pain and weakness in her voice and that she and I were saying goodbye.
Friday night of our camping trip, I dreamed that I was back in my parents house upstairs in my old bedroom. Regina and I used to talk to each other through the opened windows on summer nights, until her mother would yell for her to go to bed.
In the dream, I was in that bedroom, which was dark and empty, all I could see was the open window that I used to talk to her from. There was a light breeze coming through the window that I used to talk to her from.
It is amazing the things that happen in dreams.
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You have just honoured her with grace, dignity, and love – she would be so proud. Hang on to her memory with a smile; I’m sure she would want it that way.
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Thank you. It’s odd and unexpected, but I feel her presence as much now as ever.
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I’m sorry for the loss of your friend.
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Thanks for the note and all the ways your blog brings smiles to the world.
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my condolences on your loss..
your words will reach all the hearts they are meant…
they are beautifully scripted in love…
Take Care…You Matter…
)0(
maryrose
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Thank you maryrose. I am grateful, as I know many others are, to know love.
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